The ending of a story

Today is a huge day for me.

It's my last in Africa for who knows how long. I'm excited as hell to be going HOME after 7 months. I don't completely understand why yet, but I'm also terrified. My adrenaline has been pumping for the better part of the morning. Part of this is certainly anxiety over the hassle of traveling alone across 3 continents, on 5 flights (24 hours in the air), in 3 days. I'm so sick of the physical act of traveling - leaving the relative familiarity of a spot, being throw into foreign environments moment after moment, struggling to find your way, dealing with new people and alien languages, hustle and bustle, lack of sleep, uncomfortable seating, and having to keep your wits about you at all times on the off chance that someone wants to steal your bag or your wallet. I'm flying from Johannesburg to Zurich to Madrid to London to Glasgow (overnight there) to Toronto, all because airlines were not designed around the budget traveler.

However, this kind of stress I'm familiar with and have no problem overcoming. It's the unknown aspect of my return journey that I'm truly terrified about. I'm not the same person I was anymore. I've been immersed in cultures with totally different values and concerns from the society I'm returning to and I'm scared of what I'm going to find at home. I have no idea if I will be able to readjust, but I know already it will be difficult. South Africa is a cultural crossroads between Africa and the West. Being here for the last week has been a slow but somewhat alarming reintroduction to the life I used to live.

Believe it or not, watching TV again (I've been doing a lot of that) has been a traumatic experience for me. I cannot believe how mind-bogglingly asinine and offensive commercials are (text i'maconsumerwhore to 12345 for the latest cellphone ring tones!) Movies have not been so bad but reality TV and pop culture almost makes me want to cry. If people paid half as much attention to things that matter as they did to what Drew Barrymore wore last Wednesday, our world would be in a lot better shape. I want to scream and I'm not even back yet.

As my return date has been approaching, I've been getting more and more excited to be home among familiar faces and comforts. I just hope that those things are as comforting as I have been envisioning. Either way, I'm going to take my experience and use it to reshape the world for the better. See you all soon.